Goofy and Goofier Go Big Time
by Margaret and John Fleming
When we last saw our intrepid real estate developers, Goofy and Goofier, they had discovered that another potential developer named Zonk had a phony "title" just like theirs to the same piece of property. They had each paid $25,000 for it to a seller named Sharky. Sharky, having pocketed the $50,000, was on his way back to New York to be with his poor old mother, who was dying of cancer.
Zonk was outraged and went back to the U.S., where he hired a lawyer to trace Sharky and try to get his money back. Goofy and Goofier found a drinking buddy named Gabby in their favorite bar, El Borracho, who said he was a lawyer and agreed to go to work for them to clear up their title in return for a share of the profits.
Meanwhile Goofy and Goofier continued to sell lots in Goofy Seaside Estates. They used some of the money to put up a small building on one of the lots, which they planned to use for a sales office. Two weeks later they went out and found it smashed to pieces on the ground. After asking around, they found out that the people from whom Sharky had supposedly bought the land had never received payment from him and were still the legal owners. Goofy and Goofier told Gabby, who said he could clear it all up in a couple of weeks if they would give him $2,000 to pay off the former owners. Luckily they had that exact amount left from the sale of some lots.
Several months went by. Every time Goofy and Goofier went into El Borracho, they found Gabby sitting at the bar. When they asked him how he was doing, he always told them everything would be cleared up in two more weeks. One time they met Zonk, who told them he had been unsuccessful in tracing Sharky. He had found out that Sharky's real name was Bob Smith, but there were probably a million Bob Smiths in the U.S., half of them in New York.
"I'm disgusted," Zonk said. "I'm just going to forget the whole thing and not throw away any more money. You won't see me around here again, but if any of you ever see that Sharky, let me know. I want the opportunity to rearrange his face."
"Yeah, I always did think that nose of his was a little off-center," said Goofier.
"Well, you guys can have the land--" said Zonk. "if you can ever prove your title to it. Trying to buy it was the worst mistake I ever made."
"Thanks, old buddy," said Goofy. "We appreciate your attitude." But Zonk was already out the door.
The next weekend Goofy and Goofier breezed into El Borracho. Gabby was sitting at the bar, as usual.
"Hey, Gabby," said Goofy, "how's our title coming along?"
"I just talked to the lawyer in Hermosillo," said Gabby. "He says it will be all cleared up in two more weeks."
Goofier yawned and walked over to the table in the corner where he and Goofy usually sat to sell the lots in their projected subdivision. But today it was occupied. A good-looking young couple sat there, nursing their margaritas and looking around.
"Excuse me," said Goofier. "This is our table."
"Aw, never mind," said Goofy, coming up behind him. "We can sit at the next one. Maybe we'll make more sales if we change our location."
"What are you selling?" asked the woman.
Goofy and Goofier told the couple about their projected subdivision. As they described it, they noticed more and more excitement on their faces.
"Are you interested in buying a lot?" asked Goofy.
"Better than that," said the man eagerly. "We're Bonnie and Clyde Brinker, and we're figure skaters."
"Oh, yeah," said Goofier. "Didn't you just win a silver medal at the Olympics?"
"That's right," said Bonnie. "We're from Indiana, and we came down here from Utah to see the ocean before we went back. We love it here."
"But we were just saying," said Clyde, "that this town could certainly benefit from having more in the way of sports opportunities for visitors."
"Yes--would you believe it--" said Bonnie, "there's not a single ice-skating rink in town."
"For a place this size, that's unforgivable," said Clyde.
"There should be at least two or three," said Bonnie.
"Maybe we could build one at Goofy Seaside Estates," said Goofy. "Hey, Ernie, bring me another beer, will ya?"
"That's a great idea," said Bonnie. "I was hoping you'd say that."
"We could make it the centerpiece of the development and build the homes around it," said Goofier. "A beer for me too, Ernie."
"Right. It could be our major selling point," said Goofy.
"You guys have the right idea," said Clyde.
"Exactly where is your development?" asked Bonnie.
When they told her, Clyde asked, "Isn't there a mountain out there somewhere?"
"That's right," said Goofy.
"Well," said Clyde, "maybe we could bring in a snow machine and create a ski slope on it. That would produce more opportunities for recreation."
"We could put snow on the mountain in the Old Port too," said Bonnie, "and use it for tobogganing."
"Excuse me, señores" said Ernie, the bartender, setting two beers down on the table, "but where will you get the water you need to make snow? Salt water won't freeze."
"No problem," said Goofier, guzzling his beer. "We'll put in a desalinization plant."
"Or we can pump water from the wells out there by the highway," said Goofy. He took a deep drink out of his can.
"But, señores," said Ernie, "you will need electricity to operate these machines and pumps. There is no electrical service out where your land is."
"Oh, we can put in solar power," said Goofier. "Or maybe windmills."
"I heard the other day about a power source that uses the force of ocean waves to operate a generator," said Goofy. "One way or another we'll get the electricity; we'll produce snow, and we'll turn Rocky Point into the winter vacation spot of the Sonoran Desert."
Ernie walked back to the bar, shaking his head.
"Way to go," said Clyde. "You guys are doers, all right." He signaled for two more margaritas.
"When we get the rink built," said Bonnie, "I want to give skating lessons to kids. You'd be amazed how many young people never skate because they never had a chance to learn. And we need to include a shop where we sell skates and skating-related items--sweaters, scarves, tights, and cute little outfits for the girls. I'll start checking with a designer I know."
"Don't forget the mugs and ashtrays with the Bonnie and Clyde logo," said Clyde.
"I'd like to make our second one an open air rink," said Bonnie. "Wouldn't that be a great centerpiece for a condo development. We could call it Rockefeller Center West."
"But, señor y señora," said Ernie, setting down two margaritas, "the temperature in Rocky Point in the summer is too hot. The ice won't stay frozen."
"No problem," said Goofy. "There's a new kind of ice now that's reinforced with plastic and doesn't melt."
Ernie walked away, shaking his head.
"I love it," said Goofier, excitedly. "If we get these things up and going, we might be able to host the Winter Olympics here in Rocky Point in a few years. What a terrific publicity stunt!"
"We've got to get you guys to go in with us," said Goofy. "Do you have any money?"
"Oh, money is no problem," said Clyde. "Bonnie's Uncle Joe in Las Vegas has a lot of rich contacts. He talks to all kinds of wealthy industrialists every day. I know he can find us some investors for this project."
"What company does your Uncle Joe own?" asked Goofier.
"Well, he doesn't actually own a company," said Bonnie. "He's the maitre d' at the Cinco Star Restaurant. He's been there for years and knows everybody who's anybody."
"Wow," said Goofy. "That's a super connection."
"I've got an idea," said Goofier. "Let's advertise in the local papers and also in Tucson and Phoenix for investors. We'll call it Goofy Seaside Estates and Brinker Ice Skating Rink. I know when people see our description, they'll fall all over themselves to invest in the project. There's never been anything like this in all of Mexico before."
